Monday, May 09, 2011

A Question of Multiple Subs

There are always a few questions that float around in My mind in regards to the submissives that I speak with online who request online service or desire to meet Me. They are always to eager at first, wanting to make a good impression but will that eagerness reveal itself to be not as previous presented when it comes to a real time situation?

I have found in the past that having an online submissive rarely works for Me. While I enjoy developing friendships with them, the requests to have them on cam playing with themselves for My apparent enjoyment leaves Me a little flat. Unless I have had actual experiences with them, I find no true enjoyment from watching them do whatever they think I desire of them. (I can do this for you Mistress. Would you like to see that?) Personally, I want to be the one doing the play, making them squirm and feel like the submissive's they truly are. Also having an online sub demands a lot of online time which I do not have. Since attention is what an online submissive craves, when I can't be available to them (even though it should be the other way around), they become bored, disillusioned and move on. So much for online servitude.

So what it comes down to for Me is a few basic questions...what makes a good submissive? What makes a submissive want to serve? What services can a sub really be expected to deliver on?

As many Mistress' can attest, an eager sub will offer the moon. I have been sent many lists of what the sub likes and all the sexual services they can offer in so called anticipation of My needs. However, a submissive with an attitude of service asks what the Mistress desires and does not assume what she would like based on their personal needs. A service sub enjoys pleasing a Mistress in general ways, such a sweeping the floor or cleaning the bathroom. A foot slave will drool over the thought of worshiping those precious toes and feel fulfilled by doing so. Does the service sub or any other type desire reward? Of course, but that is always up the Mistress' discretion as to what level of reward is given. A submissive must prove worthy of such rewards. Sometimes, just giving the submissive positive attention, which they all crave is usually enough.

Is it fair to have expectations that exceed the limits of the sub? Can one sub really fulfill all the desires of the Mistress & is it fair to even expect that?

While it is expected to push and test a submissive's soft limit's, some limits cannot be pushed and that can lead to stress within the D/s relationship. I believe that no one person can fulfill every expectation in a relationship, and to think so is unrealistic, especially in a D/s one. This is why that I believe that having at least one other submissive works well in the D/s setting, at least in a play partner capacity.

At present, I have a primary male submissive, a secondary female submissive and a submissive t-girl play partner. Each brings something different to the D/s dynamic which one person could not give. Sometimes it can be challenging dealing with the different personalities and schedules, but then everyone does that every day in regular vanilla relationships so it's really not so different. The pro's definitely out weight the cons. Each relationship while similar, are so different which makes exploring the realms of D/s that much more intense and deep.

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