Saturday, January 22, 2011

Spanking - an Essential part of a D/s relationship

The following is an excerpt from an article that I read online in regards to Spanking Therapy. While I agree with the premise of the article, this type of therapy is far from new, it was just preformed more quietly on a personal level behind closed doors rather than going to a, umm, 'therapist'.

"Spanking therapy is a controversial and somewhat new theory that suggests that some adults have an emotional need for physical discipline (spanking) on a regular basis. Such therapy serves as a punishment for misdeeds, as well as a reminder to focus on one's goals and responsibilities. All forms of spanking therapy are only effective when the person receiving the therapy understands and accepts that they require it.
Spanking therapy are regular therapy sessions where spanking is used as a tool to reinforce positive behavior. Spanking therapy is only effective when the one receiving the therapy has expressed a need for it. Spanking therapy is usually given weekly, at a set date and time. This allows the therapy recipient to always be expecting another session, thus encouraging him or her to continue to focus on their positive behavior, even when not getting spanked. A session normally begins with a verbal discussion where the spankee is expected to give a report of the week's behavior with a concentration on any events or behaviors that might require a change in the spanking session (harder or lighter session). The spanker is responsible for giving a clear directive as to what areas the subject is expected to continue to work on (for example: Finding a job, losing weight, stop swearing, etc.) before the spanking begins. The spanking may be given with the hand, or with an appropriate instrument such as a paddle. Have the spankee get to the state of undress you have agreed upon (usually bare-bottom, but may be underpants if nudity is an issue), and put him or her into the position for spanking (over the knee, bent over the bed, etc.). Then calmly explain what he/she is being spanked for and what needs to be done to avoid it in the future."

I don't agree with the last line in this article as most of the people that I have spanked don't want to avoid it. In fact, they crave it and try to be on the best behavior to receive it more. In the end, it's all about what works best for you to get the best behaviour from your submissive.

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At 7:13 am, Anonymous Hornygoat14 said...

Spanking therapy is too panic ...

At 11:25 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi, good site very much appreciatted

At 5:34 pm, Blogger Panty Buns said...

i agree that weekly spanking therapy could be quite beneficial, but have multiple questions about it:

What are your thoughts about masochistic sissies who tend to top from the bottom or those who cling to patriarchal or masculine behavior?

Do you think that some sissies can, in some circumstances, benefit from submitting to consensual "no mercy" spankings if specific behavioral and attitudinal modification could not be effected otherwise (i.e.: such as learning to be humble, learning respect, and ceasing the proclivity to top from the bottom)?

i personally doubt that therapy limited to what i could easily stand would change my own behavior.

i also wonder whether most potential sissies just fantasize and wimp out when the therapy starts thus failing to provide amusement and creating frustration rather than being an outlet for it?

At 9:13 am, Blogger Mistress Kika said...

To answer your questions Sissy Panty Buns, I feel that dealing with masochistic sissies that regular spanking wouldn't be the norm since it's becomes erotic play with them. There are many ways to make them uncomfortable so that the actual spanking denotes more of a punishment role than a pleasurable one.

Personally, while I like to spank on a regular basis for therapy purposes, when I want to punish My sissy for bad behaviour, I use other methods to modify it. The spanking therapy that My sissy receives deals with more of the psychological connection that I have developed with her to keep our roles clearly defined and her in her place. She doesn't have strong masochistic tendencies, so this method works well in My situation.

As for your last comment, spanking therapy isn't for the sissy or submissive's amusement, but is used as a tool to define the dynamic between both parties. When I take on a new sissy or sub, I do not use this at the beginning of our relationship until I feel that it has been established or it truly wouldn't work well. As with most D/s play, it's all about the dynamic between the the Mistress and sissy or sub that determines whether this therapy is beneficial or not.


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