Sunday, September 30, 2007

The Ego Trap

I was listening to an audio book the other day which aptly describes what an ego is. The ego is based upon beliefs you have about yourself and how you project these beliefs into the world. The ego is built on past experiences and by lessons learned which defines who the person thinks they are today. The key word here is ‘thinks’; who you think you are and who you actually are maybe two completely different things.

Albert Einstein’s famous quote below fits with the description of what an ego is. “Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.” Suffice to say, the ego is knowledge based and is very limiting when it comes to D/s relationships.

Many submissive men, and this sometimes includes My spirit, have what I call the male ego trap. They have this idea of what a being a submissive male is but can become conflicted when they think about societal or cultural ideals of what they believe a man should be. Key word here is ‘should’. It is proven in patriarchal societies that male dominance has lead cultures and countries down destructive, war ridden paths. The male ego is primarily based on taking with little giving back. When the male ego arises in a D/s relationship it can be a real deal breaker, depending on the strength of the connection the submissive has with his Mistress. With the Mistress’ guidance, the male ego can be tempered if not completely crushed with beneficial effects within the D/s relationship as well as in his vanilla world. In fact, with his ego out of the way, the male can be open to who he truly can become in all areas. It is truly a liberating experience to be free of the ego trap, to be free of all the self judgments and condemnations with ones self. It can be a lengthy process to achieve this state of mind but one every submissive male should aspire to.


At 9:14 am, Anonymous i661atss5rv1nt said...

The male ego is not merely broken, but it is broken at the sacred altar of the superior female ego as a worshipful offering. The mistress has the most important role. It is when she rejects his perfectly reasonable requests and forces him to act strictly in accordance with her wishes that the sub comes to learn that even her whims and fancies must always take precedence over his most thoroghly considered opinions and judgements. If he tries to argue, she can quickly end all discussion by telling him that she hopes he heard her and that she does not like repeating her instructions to him. Afterwards she must ensure that he grovels at her feet to beg her forgiveness for trying to argue. What I mean is that she should treat him aritrarily, even unreasonably, and demand unquestioning obedience until he feels that his will is totally and unconditionally subservient to her will. She can then make his very personality as a subsidiary part of her own personality, so that just as his body exists only to serve her body his personality's sole purpose is to satisfy the needs of her personality. They are thus united in a common purpose, viz, a blissful life for her which he is privileged to share but only as a tool in her hand.

At 4:34 am, Blogger jayne said...

The problem of how society expects people to behave also troubles female submissives. In our modern society it is very hard to admit to needing a firm hand and strict control from a man. It is something that has to be carefully hidden so that no ammunition is given to men that might wish to take all women back in to bondage.

At 5:39 am, Blogger Silverboy50 said...

Mistress Kika,

I really enjoy your comments about the male ego; I had a huge one and I realised only waiting to be broken up by someone superior, a strong female.

Your comment is so adequate and so thoughtfull that I had to react and thank you for the wisdom that you gave everyone with this pooint of view.

After reading You, I really feel, for the first time that I have achueved something by reducing that ego, the male trap.Thanks.



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