Monday, October 09, 2006

Telling his Wife

I received this email the other day seeking advice from a submissive husband who is unsure of how to tell his Wife of his desires in serving Her. he is worried that She might not respond favorably once he has descided to open up to Her. his email and My response is below.

'Mistress..i am a 53 year old man desperate to serve and please his Wife..but is afraid to really approach her in such a way that She will understand that it is for her joy..can You help me deal with this..please.'


The easiest way is to introduce D/s to Her is gently. Show Her literature online like Elise Sutton's or Paige Harrison's websites or even My own blog, and see how She reacts. If She shows interest and is openn, go further to introduce Her to more of the lifestyle. A key factor here is to always respect Her responses to what you are showing Her, either positive or negative. If you are too pushy, She will more than likely back off and it will be more difficult for you in the end. Always be honest & open with Her and encourage Her to express Her feelings by you doing the same, (lead by example). It may be a long process due to societal conditioning, however, with luck, She will realize that this is a wonderful lifestyle which will have many benefits to you both.

In the meantime, if you are truly sincere in serving Her, do it now in small ways. Offer to help Her more around the house, or with tasks that She may perform alone, like dishes without making a big deal about it or seeking verbal rewards. Run Her a bath, be more attentive during love making, even to the point of just pleasing Her. Make Her feel like She is the center of your universe and that your purpose is to bring Her joy. If you approach Her in a sincere, loving way, I believe that She will start to respond positively to you. Good luck on your journey of self-discovery in D/s.'

D/s is a dance between partners; a showing of faith and love which can go so much deeper than a regular vanialla relationship. It creates a circle of trust between the partners involved; a bond that will defy difficult times and will allow them to experience a level of passion that many others wish they could achieve. I wish them sucess in finding their path.

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