Sunday, August 06, 2006

Be True to Yourself


Be true to yourself – no other phase has ever been uttered that is more honest or more enigmatic. Does it mean finding your own path, being above the pack and living the life you wish which may fly in the face of societal standards?

The short answer is ‘Yes’. But taking the higher road to self fulfillment isn’t always easy. In order to be true to yourself, you must do things for yourself which many may view as acts of selfishness. I believe we are all selfish, to a certain degree. And yet, the word has such negative connotations. Even the definition of selfish is rather negative. And yet, is it not somewhat selfish when we are being true to ourselves or doing what we feel and know is right for ourselves? It is a fine line to walk. However, the benefits of knowing yourself and knowing the best way to live your life can be such a joyous experience, regardless of what others may think.

In all relationships, both parties have to be getting what they need and want from the relationship or it won't last and one or both will move on. That in itself denotes some selfishness, but I don't see this as a bad thing, for if any relationship, vanilla, D/s or whatever, is going to work for the long term, both parties need to be fulfilled and satisfied by it.

Yes, in a D/s relationship the illusion is that the Mistress gets all the satisfaction. But in reality, both parties do. For a submissive/slave has a need deep inside to serve, so by serving, they are fulfilling their need (selfishness). Mistresses are seen to be doing all the taking, when in truth, they are not taking anything that is not being freely offered and given. In fact, Mistresses give just as much to the submissive in time, appreciation and attention that the submissive so richly craves. In the end, both parties are getting what they need/want from the relationship. One is not more selfish than the other.

Selfishness is not necessarily a bad thing since NOT being true to ourselves would be more harmful than anything else. The key is in the balancing of utilizing our selfishness for the benefit of the relationship and not in being greedy and taking without giving.

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