Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Punishment beyond the Physical

So many times in everyday life, when a submissives behavior is less than desirable, the topic of punishment arises between Mistresses. In My world, physical punishment is part of the ‘play’ with My submissive, something to derive enjoyment from for both of U/us. I have tried to show My displeasure in spirit’s behavior though physical means, however, I found it to have little effect on him which in turn, just frustrates Me more. Some subs like to push their Mistress’ (top from the bottom, so to speak) in order to receive the physical punishments they so crave. I find this conduct unacceptable but have also found Myself caught in the middle with this situation of what to do, and what will be effective. I have listed below are a few ideas that have worked on with spirit, and just perhaps may work for other Mistresses in there D/s relationships.

- Ignoring your sub but keeping him within your sight. Usually when a sub misbehaves it’s because they are seeking the wrong kind of attention (meaning negative attention) from their Mistress. This is such a waste of energy for both parties involved, and it doesn’t contribute to any lasting feelings of confidence in the relationship. By ignoring your sub, it sends the message that his bratty behavior will not be tolerated and should also make him realize that only consistent positive behavior will be rewarded.

- Kneeling in a corner. This is similar to ignoring the sub, with the reinforcement of throbbing knees to add to his time out. Even though this is somewhat physical, the difference is that the Mistress isn’t directly contributing to the pain, gravity is.

- Not allowing the sub to touch or serve you. If your sub has any sort of attachment to You, this can be pure torture to him. When spirit has misbehaved with Me, I have taken away this privilege, and limited his freedom this way. spirit is a very loving sub and I can see in his eyes how deeply this punishment affects him. I have found this method to be the most effective in O/our relationship in maintaining his devotion to Me as well as consistent constructive behavior.

- Not allowing the sub to be in the same room as you. When spirit has really tested & pushed Me too far, I took away his privilege of him sleeping in My bed. One time I had him sleep on the floor, naked with no blanket or pillow. This lasted only for ½ an hour, but My point was clearly taken.

- Not allowing the sub to speak for a specified time. Communication is one of the main ways a sub can receives his Mistresses attention, and when this is used as punishment, he soon understands how much of a limitation this can be. If the sub chooses to speak before the time alotment has expired, then additional 5 minute incrementstime of time is added to the overall length of silence. If the sub repeatedly ignores this, a gag ball works quite nicely.

I would hope that I would never have to use these methods with any sub. But without challenge, there is little learning. I believe this the overall goal for anyone in a D/s relationship…to learn and be able to take each O/other to the depths of their souls.


At 10:07 pm, Anonymous Cuhulin said...


At 1:42 pm, Anonymous Richard said...

I’ve been baffled sometimes on the web when I’ve read dominants express the opinion there is no way to punish a masochist.

Actually in my case her anger sometimes blocks my ability to transform pain into pleasure. But I am too strongly given to sensation play for that to always be true.

One night she forbade me any contact with her feet or boots. Given that I channel so much erotic and submissive feeling through them it was a real deprivation.

At 4:08 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you!

From a dominant female's perspective this was really helpful. It confirms my thinking that "time out" in whatever shape or form is the only method to deal with genuinely unwanted behavior in a D/s relationship. I suppose most modern behaviorist research supports this :-)

V x


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