Sunday, January 22, 2006

The Next Level

Since early last fall spirit has repeatedly been asking Me when he was going to reach the next level in his submissiveness to Me. I find this a vexing question at best. I can only encourage spirit to be all he can in his submissiveness, give him structure to help him with daily duties but it is only within himself that he can attain the level that he hopes to achieve. It’s like the saying ‘when the student is ready, the teacher will come.’ Well the teacher and student are now together, it is up to the student to learn what is offered. There always comes a point where the student goes beyond what the teacher can teach, and this is when the next levels come into play. There is a shift that takes place within the submissive’s mind, so that his desire to serve isn’t something he has to think about…it is something that he just does joyfully.

One of the biggest obstacles in spirit’s way is his male ego. I am sure that it is something that every male submissive has to fight within himself on a regular basis. male ego contributes to his personal doubts, societal stereotypes that directs his behaviour and adds to any insecurity that he may have within himself. With spirit, it surfaces as what I call his ‘bratty mode’. When ‘the brat’ emerges, it is difficult to direct or reason with him…he becomes disrespectful, argumentative, questioning and testing of My authority. It is a sad situation to find O/ourselves in. It is as if My spirit is trapped behind a glass wall, watching and regretting all that ‘the brat’ doing but helpless against it. Eventually ‘the brat’ goes away, spirit returns and has to face the reality of what has just transpired. But I have come to realize that punishment after punishment will not help ‘the brat’ go away as this aspect of spirit thrives on that negative attention. So I have had to resort to new tactics. When I see ‘the brat’ emerging, I try to divert his attention to something more vanilla, since confronting it will resort to a power exchange which only makes the situation worse. I try to be more kind, more loving and to show ‘the brat’ that he has no place within O/our relationship. Is it working? Well, it’s a work in progress but I believe that I am helping spirit get a handle on his ego. I believe that once spirit truly accepts all of who his is, he will be able to control the negative parts of himself that cause so much grief within himself and O/our relationship. he has been working very hard on it, and even though there as some slips, I believe that he has achieved so positive results.

I have noticed within the last 2 months that he has been more attentive, more pro-active within the activities that we do. For example, not only will he make dinner for U/us but clear the dishes and tidy up the kitchen. he is mindful when W/we are out in the vanilla world, opening doors, carrying bags, being helpful in the little ways that are so important. This is a big step as I have not asked him to do this, he has done it all on his own. It doesn’t happen all the time, but it IS happening. This is where the shift is occurring, it is becoming instinctual for him. I find it gratifying and spirit feels happy and more confident in his role in O/our relationship as his insecurities start to evaporate. It brings U/us both to deeper levels of understanding & intimacy.

I found this gem on one of the groups that I belong to and found it fitting for this topic. I made spirit read it, and re-read it.

‘I agree to strive to overcome feelings of guilt or shame, and all inhibitions that interfere with my capability to serve, and limit my growth as a submissive. To maintain honest and open communication and be treated with nothing but the same. To strive to reveal my thoughts, feelings, and desires without hesitation or embarrassment. To inform clearly, of wants and perceived needs, recognizing that the Mistress may choose to decide whether or how these shall be satisfied.’

With a few word shifts, this can be adapted to fit any area of his life. No one is a mind-reader…communication is the key. After all, being confident and accepting of who W/we are is the first step for O/others to be accepting of O/ourselves and O/our chosen lifestyle. spirit, I can safely say that you are on the cusp of the next level.

1 Comments:

At 6:50 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Mistress!

i have been where Your husband is now.

my Queen used an other strategi: Se whipped me, again and again and so hard! And it worked. As a slave i understand the language of the single tail whip. The whole idea is, that i shal fear the whip. i can only do that, if i know how it feels.

i shall fear the whip - and once in a while also fear not to be whipped, because i know, that my Queen now and then just loves to whip her slave. And it is my duty to be there and give her the joy by taking the pain.

The whip makes me serve politely and completely, because i am a slave without my own will. Long time ago my Queen took my will. That is the way it is. And i feel it is completely right.

Of course a beautifull and feminine woman rules men. That's naturally.

slave john

 

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