Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Sprite-space & how troublesome it can be at times

Yesterday everything was going along fine with spirit and I but in the early evening I felt a shift happen. Actually it had been slowly happening for a while now, but came to a climax yesterday. I felt spirit slip into sprite-space and what a hurtful space that can be for a D/s couple.

I read a well written article about the different levels of sub-space and I want to relay the key points here before I get into what happened. The first level is ‘top space’ where a sub normally functions while dealing with the vanilla world and regular relationships. Subs can be dominant within this area to get things done that need to be done in their day to day routines. The next is ‘marginally down space’. This is an area where by a look or touch from his Mistress, a sub goes into eager preparation, waiting for direction or command from their Mistress. A Mistress can leave their sub in that area for any length of time but if She does not continue the stimulus he will return to top-space as soon as She stops. The next level is sprite-space. Some consider this a playful level but it usually turns out to be a testing / brat stage that can turn hurtful if the sub lingers there too long. It is up to the Mistress to read the signs clearly here and help the sub move to another level. The next level is ‘blond-space’ whereas the sub’s ability to think clearly has diminished and is bodily responding to external stimulus. Some subs feel that it like being outside of the body and watching a show of themselves. The final level is ‘primal-space’ where when a sub is taken their properly, he can fly. spirit was flying in sprite-space last night.

I do not mind being tested from time to time. My varied responses to spirit’s testing usually reinforces O/our roles in O/our relationship. However, problematic sprite-space can come on at any time, especially if a sub is stressed or in need of attention, and it come with the force of a hurricane. Being a Mistress doesn’t mean that I am fearless or forceful 24/7. I am human first, Mistress second and a person who has feelings just as the next. Many might think that by stating this that it makes weak but I feel it makes Me stronger as a person to admit it. Beware of those who claim otherwise!

spirit knew he crossed the line when I became unresponsive towards him. I know he can be bratty but this time it was out of the blue and I was completely undeserving of the remarks. he apologized profusely afterwards but it had lost it’s meaning to Me. All I had tried to instill in him, all that I had accepted within him and O/our relationship seemed to be a big joke to him and even if that isn’t how he was trying to express it, that is exactly how it came across. I could choose many ways to discipline him, flog him, mark him, bind him and leave, but in the end I knew that none of these work in the long run. he has to want to submit to Me. It is not a game for Me to play hide & seek with his desires. In the end I choose to deny him Me being a Mistress to him for a week, something he was taken aback with. he felt that denying him this, I was denying his submissive part of who he was, thus not caring for him. But as I pointed out to him, the moment he chose to disrespect Me and behave towards Me in such a manner, his submissive part had already been denied to Me. his submissive side did come back quickly, but I’m not feeling inclined to acknowledge it for a while. I still feel a bit raw with the whole situation and time will help to set things straight between U/us.

When I came home today, I requested his presence so W/we could discuss what went down last night. I must point out here, this is the first morning that I did not have to wake him up to help Me with kitchen duties and the house was cleaned, and I mean every room was cleaned properly. Just from those things, I knew how much he was regretting what happened the evening before and how he was hurting. W/we have now discussed issues that brought about the unfortunate event, worked it through tears and hugs, and have decided to put it behind U/us for now. Does that mean I will let him off the hook? Hell no, it will take a bit of time to get back to level W/we were at before this episode and perhaps more than a few discipline sessions. But I do believe in U/us and what W/we share. I know in the long run that all these lessons W/we are learning will make U/us stronger together than before.


At 10:30 am, Blogger William said...

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