Wednesday, August 31, 2005

The Power of Touch

When I had first decided to keep spirit and collar him, he was quite unresponsive to My touch much to his and My dismay. Initially I took it as a personal affront, his unresponsiveness was somehow due to My lack of ability as a Mistress. he stated to Me many times that this was not the case, that there wasn’t any question with Me as a Mistress and he couldn’t understand why his body was acting that way. When the mind is willing, the body doesn’t always follow. I soon realized that the issue was his lack of training in real physical erotic experience, (he had plenty of mental already). It was time to start to explore the power of touch.

So very slowly did I start to train him in mild scenes. Nails lightly scratching against flesh on his buttocks, feathery caresses along the torso, soft pinching on his nipples…slowly bringing up the sensitivity to these areas of skin. Within a span of a few weeks, his responsiveness increased dramatically. I have him trained now, to the point that I can play and tease with his nipples alone and I can make him cum. Now that is the ultimate in the power of touch to Me. With a mer touch, spirit can anticipate what will come and will shiver with responsiveness to Me. As I have found out, discipline and control doesn’t always has to come in the form of punishment.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005


As of August 22, it has been 1 year since spirit and I have been together. My oh my, how the time flies. But I have to admit, even though W/we have had O/our issues, this last year has been the best yet in My life. The freedom I have found by living within a D/s lifestyle has been so thoroughly refreshing. I also know that spirit has found himself more this last year that any other year that he has been on this earth. The greatest realization though is that W/we have only just begun this journey…there are so many more avenues to explore, leaves to turn over. I feel like I’m constantly being re-born on a regular basis, looking at the world with fresh eyes. Many people fail to realize that being in a D/s relationship is so much more than the sexualized fantasies that are in abundance on the internet, in stories or photos. A big part of D/s to Me is the unconditional love and support that a sub can give his Mistress. spirit has shown Me plenty of that unconditional love this last year, even at times when I felt I was completely undeserving of it. What a gift he is in My life. I cherish the times when L’il Asha shyly emerges and treasure the boundless energy spirit has to share with Me. It has been a grand adventure so far and I affectionately look forwards to another extraordinary year of discovery within the realm of D/s.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Sprite-space & how troublesome it can be at times

Yesterday everything was going along fine with spirit and I but in the early evening I felt a shift happen. Actually it had been slowly happening for a while now, but came to a climax yesterday. I felt spirit slip into sprite-space and what a hurtful space that can be for a D/s couple.

I read a well written article about the different levels of sub-space and I want to relay the key points here before I get into what happened. The first level is ‘top space’ where a sub normally functions while dealing with the vanilla world and regular relationships. Subs can be dominant within this area to get things done that need to be done in their day to day routines. The next is ‘marginally down space’. This is an area where by a look or touch from his Mistress, a sub goes into eager preparation, waiting for direction or command from their Mistress. A Mistress can leave their sub in that area for any length of time but if She does not continue the stimulus he will return to top-space as soon as She stops. The next level is sprite-space. Some consider this a playful level but it usually turns out to be a testing / brat stage that can turn hurtful if the sub lingers there too long. It is up to the Mistress to read the signs clearly here and help the sub move to another level. The next level is ‘blond-space’ whereas the sub’s ability to think clearly has diminished and is bodily responding to external stimulus. Some subs feel that it like being outside of the body and watching a show of themselves. The final level is ‘primal-space’ where when a sub is taken their properly, he can fly. spirit was flying in sprite-space last night.

I do not mind being tested from time to time. My varied responses to spirit’s testing usually reinforces O/our roles in O/our relationship. However, problematic sprite-space can come on at any time, especially if a sub is stressed or in need of attention, and it come with the force of a hurricane. Being a Mistress doesn’t mean that I am fearless or forceful 24/7. I am human first, Mistress second and a person who has feelings just as the next. Many might think that by stating this that it makes weak but I feel it makes Me stronger as a person to admit it. Beware of those who claim otherwise!

spirit knew he crossed the line when I became unresponsive towards him. I know he can be bratty but this time it was out of the blue and I was completely undeserving of the remarks. he apologized profusely afterwards but it had lost it’s meaning to Me. All I had tried to instill in him, all that I had accepted within him and O/our relationship seemed to be a big joke to him and even if that isn’t how he was trying to express it, that is exactly how it came across. I could choose many ways to discipline him, flog him, mark him, bind him and leave, but in the end I knew that none of these work in the long run. he has to want to submit to Me. It is not a game for Me to play hide & seek with his desires. In the end I choose to deny him Me being a Mistress to him for a week, something he was taken aback with. he felt that denying him this, I was denying his submissive part of who he was, thus not caring for him. But as I pointed out to him, the moment he chose to disrespect Me and behave towards Me in such a manner, his submissive part had already been denied to Me. his submissive side did come back quickly, but I’m not feeling inclined to acknowledge it for a while. I still feel a bit raw with the whole situation and time will help to set things straight between U/us.

When I came home today, I requested his presence so W/we could discuss what went down last night. I must point out here, this is the first morning that I did not have to wake him up to help Me with kitchen duties and the house was cleaned, and I mean every room was cleaned properly. Just from those things, I knew how much he was regretting what happened the evening before and how he was hurting. W/we have now discussed issues that brought about the unfortunate event, worked it through tears and hugs, and have decided to put it behind U/us for now. Does that mean I will let him off the hook? Hell no, it will take a bit of time to get back to level W/we were at before this episode and perhaps more than a few discipline sessions. But I do believe in U/us and what W/we share. I know in the long run that all these lessons W/we are learning will make U/us stronger together than before.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

A weekend of shared delights

This last weekend spirit and I wanted to spend sometime at the beach but instead became diverted with shopping. Well shopping and the fact that it clouded over making going to the beach a bit useless. W/we found a pair of leather pants for spirit that looks so sexy on him. he thought that they were too tight but I think they are tight where they are meant to be and properly fitted everywhere else. his little butt looks so yummy in them. The best thing is that W/we can now go out to the local Fet night since Fet attire is strictly adhered to. So I wanted to go check out the club that it’s held at, Club 23, just to see how it was before W/we would go to the Fet night. This weekend hosted Pride Parade here and the club was celebrating Pride with ‘Lesbians on the Loose’ night. W/we still decided to check out the club and it turned out to be a really great time. I found it quite amusing that spirit was the one getting hit on by a gay man instead of Me being hit on by the women. Overall it had a relaxed, fun atmosphere with great dance tunes. W/we are looking forwards to attending the upcoming Fet night on Aug 13th.

W/we checked out the Pride Parade on Sunday. It was the first one that spirit had attended and I think it was rather therapeutic and fun for him to view. I made a few comments about how perhaps L’il asha might like to make an appearance for the next parade. Who knows, perhaps by next year she will overcome her shyness and join in the fun. Pride is not just about gays anymore even though that is the main focus. It’s all about alternative lifestyles with trans-gendered people and groups from the local BDSM community making their presence known. The main theme is about acceptance of all members of the community, vanilla, bi-sexual or other. It was a fantastic time. Later that day W/we went to Splashdown park and got O/our pants wet, lol. I just love waterslides and I’m happy that spirit enjoys they just as much as I do.

A foot note for the weekend, W/we had a few scenes and they were so wonderful. W/we felt a new deepened level of contentment that W/we haven’t experienced before. I felt positively delicious the whole time. spirit is a yummy treat that just keeps on giving. Love & licks to you, sweetness.

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