Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Traveling with spirit

spirit & I went away to the Island a couple of weekend ago. I used to live there but he is fairly new to the region and had never been there to visit. It was great time playing tour guide and showing spirit all the Island’s hidden treasures.

Being in a D/s relationship can be challenging when you are out of your regular environment. I had spirit wear his bonding necklace that I made for him that lays next to his skin as a constant reminder of who he belongs to and so he doesn’t forget his place with Me while W/we are in public. W/we have been together long enough for him to know that certain signals - a glance or hand movement means I require him to do something for Me. I find this works well so he can serve Me in a consistent capacity without outside observers noticing. W/we were fortunate to be traveling with a very good friend of Mine who knows about O/our special relationship and accepts it without judgement. It made spirit much more comfortable with PDA and service towards Me. It was also a test for spirit too. W/we would be spending a lot of time with women only and I was curious to see how he would react in that situation. Some subs only show respect for their Mistress and become quite bratty when dealing with other Women. With spirit, he believes in Female Supremacy with the notion of showing reverence for all Women. It was a pleasure to watch spirit rise to the occasion and help out other Woman throughout the weekend in any way possible he could. It made Me feel proud that the training he was leaning was taking hold and becoming second nature for him. Of course people just thought he was charming but I knew better.

spirit even shone more the next weekend when W/we went on a camping trip with a bunch of friends…some who know about O/our D/s connection, some who suspect and some who are clueless. It was a good time even if it was a bit wet that weekend. spirit was always helpful, full of humor and up for whatever adventure W/we could come up with. W/we went on a small hike to a waterfall, down to the lake and off to the local hot springs to warm up a bit half way through the weekend.

Overall it was a good experience for both of U/us. I look forwards to taking off on O/our next adventure, perhaps camping again or a road trip to the interior.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

The Mythical Domme-Drop

A few Sunday’s ago I did a scene with spirit. spirit had been misbehaving staying up late on the computer role-playing. I don’t mind that he role-plays but what I do mind is not being aware of when he is doing it cause he gets so wrapped up in his fantasy world that he forgets himself in real time and his duties to Me. he is supposed to be chaste for Me but he forgets himself while role-playing and plays with himself. he always regrets this but still finds that he can’t resist. I knew right away that something was up when he came to bed late that evening. What upset Me the most was that I had to drag it out of him, what he had been up to instead of him just telling Me what had been done. When he doesn’t tell Me the truth straight up when I ask him, it just sends Me to the moon…I was so angry. But it wasn’t the time for punishment yet…that had to wait until I was in a calmer frame of mind and him in a more respectful headspace, hence the scene on that Sunday.

Any Mistress can tell you that not every scene is exactly the same. Each one has different depth & different reasons as to why it is performed, whether it’s a play or punishment scene. And certain things, like miscommunication, can make a scene go terribly wrong in a blink of an eye. I felt that I had to do a punishment scene for spirit as I didn’t want bratty behaviour to wreck havoc in O/our relationship. However, I didn’t have My heart in it & the timing was off. I did it cause I felt an unseen obligation as a Domme to do it or spirit would of taken advantage of Me and My control would be diminished, topping from the bottom, so to speak. But in doing so I broke a cardinal rule of Domination. Instead of enjoying My role as a Domme, I was feeling pushed by it, creating a scene that wasn’t good for spirit or Me. he could feel the difference while the flogger was striking his bottom. I wasn’t flogging with love for him but with indifference and it’s totally changed everything in the scene for Me...took the meaning out of it. I also felt that I had pushed spirit’s limits too much which goes against how I feel about being a Gentle Mistress. There is a term called sub-drop when a sub experiences a bad scene or has been pushed too far. I have also heard of this mythical Domme-drop but never thought that I would experience it Myself which is exactly what happened. Everyone has insecurities, top or bottom. Being in a D/s relationship all about discovering who you are and exploring that to the fullest. I guess it also means discovering what doesn’t work too. spirit knew that something was wrong but didn’t know how to address it. I didn’t want to talk about it, being embarrassed by My feelings and loss of control. In the end W/we worked it out through lots of tears and with deep emotional healing for some of the insecurities that W/we both carry which inevitably brought U/us closer together. spirit is a dear heart who can fully let Me be who I am without feeling compromised as an individual, something I am truly grateful for.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Tie me Up / Tie me down

Here is an interesting write-up that I found in a group that I belong to

I hope everyone enjoys it.

Monday, May 02, 2005

Baby's got new shoes

A few months ago spirit disclosed to Me, somewhat embarrassed & shyly that he had explored cross-dressing a bit when he was a teenager. However, he confessed that he didn’t go too deeply into it at that time or since then, as he was quite uncomfortable with the feelings that it brought out in him. He didn’t feel that he was overly macho but he also didn’t feel like a sissy girl either and as a result, tried to suppress his feminine side since he discovered it. My first thought was ‘how tragic’. This is part of who he is and he’s put it aside, embarrassed by what it represents or what he think it represents. I feel that exploring every part of yourself & accepting who you are leads to a healthy sense of self worth. No one is ever only one aspect of himself or Herself all the time. W/we are all fluid personalities that change on a regular basis to adapt to whatever situation that W/we find O/ourselves placed in.

I was the first person that spirit confided to that he had these feelings. he trusts Me and knows that I will I not judge but accept him as I always have. To Me this brings a whole new element to O/our D/s relationship and what W/we will be able explore. I find it interesting that he has come to terms with his submissive nature but has a difficult time accepting the cross-dressing side of himself. I always say to him that I love him for all he is and what he represents to Me…My sub, My slave, My friend, My lover, My mate. As I have said many times before, he completes Me. How fortunate for him that he found Me and that I am such an open person. I will try to work with him to accept himself as I accept him and to know that it is ok to be all of who he is.

Since spirit told Me of his feelings, I decided right away to help open him up to them. I have a PCV skirt that I officially gave to him and have a couple of others that he is allowed play with when the urge comes upon him. he has also tried on some of My cloths when I have been at work, which he sheepishly admitted to. Well this weekend I decided to take it up a notch. W/we went to a local thrift store and searched around for clothes for him to dress up in. W/we didn’t find much but W/we did find a new pair of size 10, Sam & Libby black strappy sandals. W/we didn’t try them on at the store but I knew that they would fit and bought them. When W/we arrived home, I ordered him to go to the bedroom, put on his black PCV skirt & his new shoes. As he approached me, shyly & reserved, I placed his collar around his neck and he was set for the night. I had him serve Me like that, prance around and get used to wearing the shoes. It was also a lesson for him as to what Women go through to look good so he can have a different perspective and new respect for Us. I thought he looked very sexy in his shoes…gosh he has great legs! spirit was obviously enjoying himself too as I noticed a slight tent start to form in his skirt. W/we will have to do something about that to keep it down if W/we ever decided to go out when he’s dress up, something that I will be slowly encouraging him to do. I want him to become comfortable with himself when he is dressed in woman’s clothing. There are plenty of men out there that have this fetish and there is totally nothing to be embarrassed about. Imitation is the best form of flattery, I say. I can think of no better way for a sub to show his reverence to females than by trying to imitate or be them.

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