Friday, April 01, 2005

Training

This earlier week I received a new flogger in the mail that I bought on Ebay. spirit was excited about the new toy and I was finally able to try it out last night. W/we did a little scene but it was more about training than anything else. Initially I just wanted to get a feel for the flogger since this is the first full size one that I’ve owned. So I had spirit get on the bed, fully dress at first and had him wait for Me in his punishment position. I lightly flogged him, adjusting for balance, proper grip, and the best position for Me to stand in while I administered the flogging. I wanted to make sure that I am comfortable using it and have spirit increase his tolerance for it. I gave him about 10 lashings then went a bit further, pulling down his track pants to have the leather kiss his bare flesh. I lightly lashed him at first slowly increasing the force to about a medium stroke. The tails are a bit longer than I’m used to so I must make sure that I am striking in the proper place so as to not to accidentally hurt spirit. The purpose of erotic flogging is to take spirit to his sub-space and not to unintentionally beat him to a pulp, even though other D/s couples may go to that level. That is NOT for Me and I’m sure spirit is grateful for My limits even though his tolerance to pain/pleasure has greatly increased since he first came into My service.

A bit later, I worked on training him to stay erect longer. I’ve discovered a technique that should help in this area with daily training. I stroke his shaft until he becomes hard and have him tell Me when he is about to cum. Instead of just stopping the strokes, I squeeze his shaft just below the head of his penis that allows the sensation to subside. I could feel his member throbbing and twitching, but due to lack of stimulation and the effects of the squeezing motion, it subsided within about a minute while his erection still remained. Then I started stroking again, brought him to the point of release and then stopped & squeezed again. I did this for a total of 5 times to build up his tolerance, to let him feel the sensations and then finally let him release. I read in a book that this technique is useful in treating premature ejaculation and that with practice a goal of up to 20 times can be achieved. Perhaps more can be achieved but I was happy with what W/we accomplished this first time. It made him very attentive to Me and My touch, allowing him to feel safe and relaxed with being aroused in My presence. Now some might think that being sexually aroused with a partner is a basic function but when a man suffers from premature ejaculation, it usually started as a guilt-based, shame-ridden reaction to those feelings of sexual pleasure. This is where the training comes in to break the ‘bad’ habit. I will be training his mind as well as his penis to feel comfortable My touch and accepting of his sexual feelings. I’m sure that with time My training will be successful for both of our sexual needs.

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