Thursday, April 28, 2005

Attitude adjustment

Spirit is a wonderful sub, but I have noticed a shift in his attitude lately. I know that part of the reason is that he is feeling badly in regards to his employment situation, he’s not working at the moment. his last employer was jerking him around and taking advantage of him so I am happy that he doesn’t have to deal with that situation anymore. I also think he is missing going to university as he didn’t attend this semester. But it was good that he didn’t go this semester as the faculty was on strike for a good portion of it and his studies would of suffered, not to mention that it would have been a complete waste of money. So spirit is now officially My ‘boy-wife’ but this has left him alone with a lot of free time on his hands. Because I work full time, I haven’t been able to give him the proper training or direction he needs to fulfil his position of ‘boy-wife’. However, I do expect him to know how some of the things work around the house by now. To his defense I must say that he has been busy on the computer working on My website which does take plenty of time, so it’s not like he is just sitting around doing nothing. But sometimes the computer can become all consuming with him at My expense. We have had a few sessions and discussions around this but it still seems to be a sore spot in O/our relationship. W/we discussed the computer issue just this past Saturday morning. he was quite upset with My concerns, to the point that he unconsciously took off the bond necklace that I made & gave him to wear in public when isn’t wearing his collar. he is only allowed to take it off when he showers. I was upset that he was taking things so lightly. I knew that something would have to be done soon. spirit also told Me that he has been talking with a female sub online who seems to Me has a very bratty attitude & relationship with her Mistress from what he has told Me. spirit has no restrictions with who he chats with but I do not need him to be influenced by this other subs bad behaviour. they had been collaborating on how to ‘top from the bottom’ with simple things first, like taking over the white board in the kitchen. And even though this doesn’t seem like a big thing to be concerned about, little things can turn into big things rather quickly and get out-of-hand. I do not feel the need for spirit to develop any sort of habitual bratty-ness or for Me to have to keep dealing with it. It’s too exhausting and totally unnecessary.

The message on the white board from spirit was ‘subbies rule!’ Whereas I corrected it to say ‘subbies learn the rules.’ My rules are pretty simple. One of those rules is not to show disrespect to anyone even if it is done in a light-hearted manner. No one benefits when someone is making fun of another in a negative way. Another rule - if you see a mess, clean it up. When I came home on Tuesday afternoon, I found the place to be quite untidy, no dinner made and a scattered spirit looming around the apartment. Needless to say, I was not impressed. But I must say that I have also been stressing with other issues in My life which added to the angst I was feeling when I came home. I love spirit very much, but sometimes I am much too lenient with him and I need to re-set the rules from time to time. Punishment earned – this is what spirit has accomplished whether he realized it or not and not the mild punishments of the past - this was something that was far more serious even though it came about in an unintentional way.

I decided early that evening, when he was feeling he that ‘got away’ with his behaviour that it was time to set the record straight. I told him to get into the bedroom naked except for his collar and to wait for Me in his punishment position. I made him wait a good 5-10 minutes so he could try to think about what was going to happen. I used the crop to build up his tolerance first, placing firm spanks on each side of his bottom. I asked him, ‘Who Owns you? Who do you love & cherish above anyone else? Do you know why I am displeased with you? He answered that he wasn’t sure why. So I told him in exact terms exactly what earned him this punishment. I moved on to My flogger next to deliver the more powerful blows. I knew I was pushing his limits while he whimpered and tried to protect his exposed balls from the flogger with one backward hand. It was the first time I used this much force on him. Initially he was highly aroused but when he sensed that this session was different, a true punishment, he lost his hardness quickly. I kept asking him, ‘What is your safe word. I’m going to continue until you shout your safe word.’ which I did until I heard it. W/we were both emotionally spent by that time. I know that punishment is necessary to achieve the desired results I require from a sub, but it hurts Me in many ways as much as the sub as I am not a cruel Mistress and would much rather give erotic punishment.
I put away the flogger and gathered up a spent spirit into My arms to comfort him and to explain further why this punishment needed to be done. He was in deep sub-space and only a gentle touch would bring him back. I held him as a multitude of emotions flooded through him. Tears wetted My shoulder where his head lay. he knew that things had been sliding with his attitude and he was deeply disappointed with himself. With his release came a new understanding…he knows clearly what is expected just as I know I need to show more guidance to him. It was a powerful experience that will not be forgotten any time soon.

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