Thursday, April 28, 2005

Attitude adjustment

Spirit is a wonderful sub, but I have noticed a shift in his attitude lately. I know that part of the reason is that he is feeling badly in regards to his employment situation, he’s not working at the moment. his last employer was jerking him around and taking advantage of him so I am happy that he doesn’t have to deal with that situation anymore. I also think he is missing going to university as he didn’t attend this semester. But it was good that he didn’t go this semester as the faculty was on strike for a good portion of it and his studies would of suffered, not to mention that it would have been a complete waste of money. So spirit is now officially My ‘boy-wife’ but this has left him alone with a lot of free time on his hands. Because I work full time, I haven’t been able to give him the proper training or direction he needs to fulfil his position of ‘boy-wife’. However, I do expect him to know how some of the things work around the house by now. To his defense I must say that he has been busy on the computer working on My website which does take plenty of time, so it’s not like he is just sitting around doing nothing. But sometimes the computer can become all consuming with him at My expense. We have had a few sessions and discussions around this but it still seems to be a sore spot in O/our relationship. W/we discussed the computer issue just this past Saturday morning. he was quite upset with My concerns, to the point that he unconsciously took off the bond necklace that I made & gave him to wear in public when isn’t wearing his collar. he is only allowed to take it off when he showers. I was upset that he was taking things so lightly. I knew that something would have to be done soon. spirit also told Me that he has been talking with a female sub online who seems to Me has a very bratty attitude & relationship with her Mistress from what he has told Me. spirit has no restrictions with who he chats with but I do not need him to be influenced by this other subs bad behaviour. they had been collaborating on how to ‘top from the bottom’ with simple things first, like taking over the white board in the kitchen. And even though this doesn’t seem like a big thing to be concerned about, little things can turn into big things rather quickly and get out-of-hand. I do not feel the need for spirit to develop any sort of habitual bratty-ness or for Me to have to keep dealing with it. It’s too exhausting and totally unnecessary.

The message on the white board from spirit was ‘subbies rule!’ Whereas I corrected it to say ‘subbies learn the rules.’ My rules are pretty simple. One of those rules is not to show disrespect to anyone even if it is done in a light-hearted manner. No one benefits when someone is making fun of another in a negative way. Another rule - if you see a mess, clean it up. When I came home on Tuesday afternoon, I found the place to be quite untidy, no dinner made and a scattered spirit looming around the apartment. Needless to say, I was not impressed. But I must say that I have also been stressing with other issues in My life which added to the angst I was feeling when I came home. I love spirit very much, but sometimes I am much too lenient with him and I need to re-set the rules from time to time. Punishment earned – this is what spirit has accomplished whether he realized it or not and not the mild punishments of the past - this was something that was far more serious even though it came about in an unintentional way.

I decided early that evening, when he was feeling he that ‘got away’ with his behaviour that it was time to set the record straight. I told him to get into the bedroom naked except for his collar and to wait for Me in his punishment position. I made him wait a good 5-10 minutes so he could try to think about what was going to happen. I used the crop to build up his tolerance first, placing firm spanks on each side of his bottom. I asked him, ‘Who Owns you? Who do you love & cherish above anyone else? Do you know why I am displeased with you? He answered that he wasn’t sure why. So I told him in exact terms exactly what earned him this punishment. I moved on to My flogger next to deliver the more powerful blows. I knew I was pushing his limits while he whimpered and tried to protect his exposed balls from the flogger with one backward hand. It was the first time I used this much force on him. Initially he was highly aroused but when he sensed that this session was different, a true punishment, he lost his hardness quickly. I kept asking him, ‘What is your safe word. I’m going to continue until you shout your safe word.’ which I did until I heard it. W/we were both emotionally spent by that time. I know that punishment is necessary to achieve the desired results I require from a sub, but it hurts Me in many ways as much as the sub as I am not a cruel Mistress and would much rather give erotic punishment.
I put away the flogger and gathered up a spent spirit into My arms to comfort him and to explain further why this punishment needed to be done. He was in deep sub-space and only a gentle touch would bring him back. I held him as a multitude of emotions flooded through him. Tears wetted My shoulder where his head lay. he knew that things had been sliding with his attitude and he was deeply disappointed with himself. With his release came a new understanding…he knows clearly what is expected just as I know I need to show more guidance to him. It was a powerful experience that will not be forgotten any time soon.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Intimate readings

On Sunday W/we had a wonderful, loving scene that included reading and worship. After a long, stressful week spirit could see that some foot worship was in order to help Me relax. I have a throne chair at home where I stationed Myself as I waited for spirit to ready the implements of his worship: a foot basin filled with warm water, soft towels, a foot pumice, light floral scented soap, massage oil & nail polish. spirit was only wearing his girlie thong underwear that I had given him and his collar, just the way I like to have him dressed in any scene. As I sat there in dark green teddy, I had a book in My hands that I wanted to read to spirit while he worked on My pedicure. It’s a called “The Maerlande Chronicles” by Élisabeth Vonarburg, a great Canadian SF writer translated from French to English. It's a fantastic book based on female supremacy with a bit of matriarchy thrown in for good measure. I had lent the book to spirit to read for himself, however some of the terminology was a bit advanced for him and was having a difficult time understanding it. I would like to point out that spirit's native tongue in NOT English even though he is fluent in speaking it now which is why this book was a difficult read for him. So as a treat I wanted to read it to him and explain the concepts when he had any questions about the content. As he started My foot bath, I quietly read to him, as he periodically interrupted with well thought out questions. I can honestly say that I find reading to someone else very intimate even more so in some ways than an erotic session. It also brings out a multitude of teacher/student feelings. I feel that it is a very loving way to spend time with anyone. To have spirit at My feet, giving Me a pedicure while showing anticipated interest in the story. W/we were only able to get through a few chapters but that was fine..contentment was felt by both of U/us.

When I finished reading, as spirit finished painting My toes he started to give Me a leg rub working up to My sacred spot. I was feeling so wonderful, sensual, erotic so I decided it was high time for some oral worship & spirit eagerly got to business. It was such a nice visual...spirit on hands & knees, licking & sucking as I had My legs wrapped around his torso, feet gently resting on his back. spirit loves to worship Me this way but I didn't realize how much so. As I was approaching climax moaning with delight, spirit was moaning also and W/we actually came at the same time. I couldn't believe it as he wasn't touching himself at all. His hands were busy supporting his body weight while he was on all fours. It just goes to show you how the brain is the largest sexual organ and how with the proper training, you can make a sub truly your own. I look forwards to O/our next reading.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Sunday Scene

A couple of Sunday’s ago, I did a scene with spirit. I was feeling very frisky and was in the mood to try something that spirit & I had been training for in the last few months. I instructed spirit to wait for Me in his punishment position in O/our bedroom after he removed his clothes. I love seeing him in nothing but his collar. I put My hair up in haphazard pig tails, puffed out in a wild & sexy way. I had nothing on except the black strap on that I had purchased a few months ago. I have been training spirit with a butt plug, letting him get used to the feeling of the plug filling him up, so he can work up to take the 6” dong. he wasn’t sure what to expect this time but when he saw Me standing over him, flogger in had with the black strap-on, the excitement in his eyes grew.

I started with light flogging, working up to a medium stroke so I could take a few items off of his punishment list. I kept rubbing his bottom with the dong, making him feel it, knowing that I wouldn’t be long before I felt ready to take him. To get him prepared, I knelt on the bed beside his head and had him suck it, deep throat it, totally pushing him over the edge in his sub-space. he was putty in My hands, eager & willing to do anything for Me. I told him that I wanted to try to insert the dong up his ass this session, and for him to tell Me if it was too much. I’m not into hurting him…I want him to enjoy every minute of what I do with him. Only when I can build up his tolerance will I start to become more rough with him and O/our sessions. I found his willingness exceedingly erotic, and quickly applied the lube for insertion. I pulled his balls and stroked him while I slowly inserted the dong, only going in an inch to see how he could take it. Surprisingly he asked for more which I happily gave. To My great amazement he was able to take it all in, all 6 thick inches of it. I was so pleased and loved hearing him moan as I took his ass. And needless to say he was rock hard the whole time while I did this and it wasn't long before he came. W/we snuggled after it was over while he came back to the real world. It was such an great experience for both of U/us. I just loved it and was so turned on by taking him this way as he was by recieving Me. I look forwards to the next encounter!

Friday, April 01, 2005


This earlier week I received a new flogger in the mail that I bought on Ebay. spirit was excited about the new toy and I was finally able to try it out last night. W/we did a little scene but it was more about training than anything else. Initially I just wanted to get a feel for the flogger since this is the first full size one that I’ve owned. So I had spirit get on the bed, fully dress at first and had him wait for Me in his punishment position. I lightly flogged him, adjusting for balance, proper grip, and the best position for Me to stand in while I administered the flogging. I wanted to make sure that I am comfortable using it and have spirit increase his tolerance for it. I gave him about 10 lashings then went a bit further, pulling down his track pants to have the leather kiss his bare flesh. I lightly lashed him at first slowly increasing the force to about a medium stroke. The tails are a bit longer than I’m used to so I must make sure that I am striking in the proper place so as to not to accidentally hurt spirit. The purpose of erotic flogging is to take spirit to his sub-space and not to unintentionally beat him to a pulp, even though other D/s couples may go to that level. That is NOT for Me and I’m sure spirit is grateful for My limits even though his tolerance to pain/pleasure has greatly increased since he first came into My service.

A bit later, I worked on training him to stay erect longer. I’ve discovered a technique that should help in this area with daily training. I stroke his shaft until he becomes hard and have him tell Me when he is about to cum. Instead of just stopping the strokes, I squeeze his shaft just below the head of his penis that allows the sensation to subside. I could feel his member throbbing and twitching, but due to lack of stimulation and the effects of the squeezing motion, it subsided within about a minute while his erection still remained. Then I started stroking again, brought him to the point of release and then stopped & squeezed again. I did this for a total of 5 times to build up his tolerance, to let him feel the sensations and then finally let him release. I read in a book that this technique is useful in treating premature ejaculation and that with practice a goal of up to 20 times can be achieved. Perhaps more can be achieved but I was happy with what W/we accomplished this first time. It made him very attentive to Me and My touch, allowing him to feel safe and relaxed with being aroused in My presence. Now some might think that being sexually aroused with a partner is a basic function but when a man suffers from premature ejaculation, it usually started as a guilt-based, shame-ridden reaction to those feelings of sexual pleasure. This is where the training comes in to break the ‘bad’ habit. I will be training his mind as well as his penis to feel comfortable My touch and accepting of his sexual feelings. I’m sure that with time My training will be successful for both of our sexual needs.

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