Thursday, February 24, 2005

The big day is approaching quickly!

These are the final days before O/our wedding and there seems to be endless things to do before Sunday. I was busy yesterday after work organizing things around the suite, just trying to get the house in order My way, since the ceremony is happening in O/our suite. spirit has been a big help with doing tasks around the house but I am still training him to My standards so I feel the need to make things just so. Maybe I’m a bit of a perfectionist at heart as spirit says, but I’d like to think that I’m not so much one. An area I organized was My panty drawer. I know that spirit likes to wear girlie underwear and I like to encourage him to be all that he is. So I went through and gave him a bunch of them to wear for Me when I desire it. I think that he looks so sexy in them, especially the thongs cause he has such a cute butt. Plus it puts him in sub-space for Me, somewhere he feels at home.

Spirit asked Me last night why he was submissive. This is something that I couldn’t answer for him and I told him so. But I did say that it’s part of who he is, that it makes him feel comfortable, at home with himself, loved and cared for and in the end, that is all that matters. It is said that people may forget certain events in their lives but they will not forget how someone else has made them feel. Emotional memories as these are called, are far more vivid recollections than events with little emotional attachment. With spirit being submissive, I think that there are plenty of moments remembered mostly when he is in sub-space because that is where he feels truly himself. I’m not discounting other vanilla areas in his life where he has memories…there are always significant events in life that brings up an emotional response not linked to D/s. But I think that some of spirit’s happiest moments are when he is in sub-space. I think that it is fantastic that not only he acknowledges every aspect of himself, but that he feels confident to share all of himself with Me. That is what makes O/our relationship so special to Me. And I encourage him to be all he can be on every level, to be supportive of who he is because there is nothing worse than living a lie or hiding who you truly are. So many people live double lives because they can’t be honest with others or themselves. It has been documented that many gay bashing incidents are carried out by homophobic men who secretly have homosexual desires that they are ashamed of and don’t know how to deal with them. They are not in-touch with who they are and how sad for them and society as a whole. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if everyone just tried to accept themselves fully as W/we have done instead of trying to impose their beliefs on others with what they think is right or wrong. So much evil is created in the ‘best interests’ of others. Sigh…just random thoughts for that last bit.

I’m so happy spirit came into My world and I into his. We truly do complete each other and how amazing is that!


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