Monday, February 28, 2005

Wedding Day


Yesterday was O/our wedding and I can honestly say it was perfect in every way. It was a beautiful sunny day and the air was warm. The Imam was there (the one W/we originally had booked), on time and he was so warm & friendly, everyone was put at ease. My sister said she felt the ceremony was quite beautiful and exotic with the Imam reciting in Arabic & Udu, very melodious and flowing. I had the cake ordered the day before and it was beautiful. The best man picked up all the sweets & finger foods for after the ceremony and also bought spirit a proper Indian wedding suit. Also to honor O/our D/s relationship I had spirit wear a frilly pair of underwear. hee hee. spirit looked so handsome in it and he said I looked beautiful too, that My shalwar looked like it was made just for Me. My sister was an excellent photographer…She has such a good eye. Once everyone was fed and W/we had dropped the Imam off, W/we went to the beach to do some photos. There were a few cameras going off, one was digital in black & white and some of the photos W/we could see on the display were so wonderful. spirit was really cute…he kept turning to Me in the car to the park saying, OMG, W/we’re married…hi Mistress wife, lol. I think it will take a while for it all to sink in for both of U/us but W/we couldn’t be happier. After photo’s at the beach W/we all went for coffee & hot chocolate to warm up before dinner. A fog bank rolled on to the beach as W/we were finishing up our photo’s and the temperature dropped 10 degrees in about 20 minutes so there were more than a few chilled toes to warm up. After dropping My sister off to take the train home, W/we went to a distinguished restaurant for dinner. W/we had reservations at Cloud 9…it’s a revolving restaurant on the 42nd floor of the Empire Landmark Hotel in Vancouver. The food was excellent, service second to none and the view was breath taking. It was the best place to share O/our special day with O/our friends. spirit had a speech prepared for Me after dinner, he even wrote it down. He wanted to share with everyone how he felt blessed by having Me in his life, now as his wife and how he would love and treasure Me forever. Before Me he told Me that he never believed in ‘forever’…I am glad I could make him a believer. Then each friend had a turn to say their thoughts and well wishes for both of U/us. I was the last to say My speech for spirit & everyone. I was honored that the people who shared O/our day were as close and dear to U/us as they were, that W/we have love and laughter in O/our lives because of them. And for spirit, whom which I truly believe was placed in My path by divine intervention…My love for him knows no bounds. I will cherish and love him forever as W/we do complete each other. What a blessed day!

Friday, February 25, 2005

Pre-event stress

Yesterday turned out to be quite stressful for Me. Work has been crazy busy since someone is away on holidays but throw in the wedding on Sunday with all the last minutes details and it get’s out of control quick.

When I got home, spirit was already there and since I wasn’t expecting him, he totally scared the crap out of Me. Then I noticed that something was up with him. It’s strange but I intuitively know he wants to tell Me something but isn’t sure how to approach Me cause it will probably make Me upset. I persisted and got it out of him. With only 3 days until O/our wedding, he just found out the Imam is out of town. He is supposed to be back Saturday morning but there really isn’t any guarantee’s about his return and spirit wasn’t sure what to do. I know that O/our ceremony is small, but it still is a blow if something like this happens. Needless to say, I flipped out. OMG, I was so angry that someone from the Imam’s office didn’t call U/us to tell U/us about the man’s absence and that spirit didn’t have a back up plan in place in case something happened. It was his task to make sure that everything was in order with the Imam and I felt let down because it seemed to be falling apart. I know that it isn’t his fault that the Imam is out of town, these sort of things do happen, but I was upset with the lack of foresight as to not have a back up plan. I know that I probably over reacted but this is O/our wedding! I do commend spirit for not running screammig away from Me & My anger. Once I calmed down, I realize how shaken he was with My outburst. Poor guy, this is his wedding too and he’s just as stressed out as I am. I realized that I wasn’t helping the situation so I did My best to drop it and trust him that he would make it right. And you know what, he did and things turned out fine. he called his cousin and within a few hours a back up plan was in place and everything was ok. I guess emotions are running high, mine especially due to the wedding and wanting everything to go right. Well everything is in place, time will tell if it all works out ok but I have a good feeling that it will.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

The big day is approaching quickly!

These are the final days before O/our wedding and there seems to be endless things to do before Sunday. I was busy yesterday after work organizing things around the suite, just trying to get the house in order My way, since the ceremony is happening in O/our suite. spirit has been a big help with doing tasks around the house but I am still training him to My standards so I feel the need to make things just so. Maybe I’m a bit of a perfectionist at heart as spirit says, but I’d like to think that I’m not so much one. An area I organized was My panty drawer. I know that spirit likes to wear girlie underwear and I like to encourage him to be all that he is. So I went through and gave him a bunch of them to wear for Me when I desire it. I think that he looks so sexy in them, especially the thongs cause he has such a cute butt. Plus it puts him in sub-space for Me, somewhere he feels at home.

Spirit asked Me last night why he was submissive. This is something that I couldn’t answer for him and I told him so. But I did say that it’s part of who he is, that it makes him feel comfortable, at home with himself, loved and cared for and in the end, that is all that matters. It is said that people may forget certain events in their lives but they will not forget how someone else has made them feel. Emotional memories as these are called, are far more vivid recollections than events with little emotional attachment. With spirit being submissive, I think that there are plenty of moments remembered mostly when he is in sub-space because that is where he feels truly himself. I’m not discounting other vanilla areas in his life where he has memories…there are always significant events in life that brings up an emotional response not linked to D/s. But I think that some of spirit’s happiest moments are when he is in sub-space. I think that it is fantastic that not only he acknowledges every aspect of himself, but that he feels confident to share all of himself with Me. That is what makes O/our relationship so special to Me. And I encourage him to be all he can be on every level, to be supportive of who he is because there is nothing worse than living a lie or hiding who you truly are. So many people live double lives because they can’t be honest with others or themselves. It has been documented that many gay bashing incidents are carried out by homophobic men who secretly have homosexual desires that they are ashamed of and don’t know how to deal with them. They are not in-touch with who they are and how sad for them and society as a whole. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if everyone just tried to accept themselves fully as W/we have done instead of trying to impose their beliefs on others with what they think is right or wrong. So much evil is created in the ‘best interests’ of others. Sigh…just random thoughts for that last bit.

I’m so happy spirit came into My world and I into his. We truly do complete each other and how amazing is that!

Friday, February 18, 2005

Communication


It has been a busy time for both of U/us lately since spirit started his new job and O/our wedding is coming up at the end of the month. I have been taking care of the smaller tasks such as buying decorations, garment shopping, cake arrangements, food for after the ceremony, restaurant reservations etc. spirit made the arrangements for the Eman to come and W/we got O/our rings and wedding license last weekend. It’s a very exciting time for U/us.

However, I have been a bit emotional lately since spirit has been coming home so late at night…I feel that I need him now beside Me more than ever as W/we are facing O/our future together. What I didn’t realize is that his parents are not as accepting of O/our wedding as he told Me before and he’s been busy trying to smooth things over with his family. He didn’t want to tell Me as it would of added to O/our stress level but I was happy that he did tell Me in the end. I knew something was up and I hate being left in the dark. Communication is so very important. Even when someone is trying to spare hurt feelings by not telling some information to someone, it usually back fires as the person who doesn’t know what’s is going on tends to assume things so they can try to understand the other person’s behavior. This is exactly what I did. I was getting so upset because I thought that spirit was celebrating with his cousin, (boys night out or something) O/our upcoming wedding. As it turns out I couldn’t be further from the truth in My thinking. I guess because I’ve had a few bad relationships before and have residual issues from them I put that on spirit and became upset. It is very unfair of Me to do this to him and spirit with his loving heart and submission to Me is helping Me release these fears. he is the most patient and caring partner that I have ever had and I love him so very much. I have to learn to trust all that he is and ignore My analytical thinking patterns that sometimes gravitate toward a negative threads.

Now that W/we are both know what’s going on and can handle the issues together, things are just wonderful. I love waking up every morning with spirit by My side…gosh, I find him so handsome in the AM. Who knew that one simple offline message I left him on Yahoo would blossom into such a wonderful D/s relationship. I’m a lucky Mistress to have found not only a wonderful sub, one who loves & worships Me, but a wonderful person who completes Me. Dear heart...you are the best!

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

One Week

It has been a week since spirit moved in and things are going wonderfully. Since it is a new arrangement there will be a learning curve for both of U/us to go through, but if this last week is any indication of how the future will be, I’m thinking things will be very good indeed.

Since W/we both work during the day, the evenings are when W/we get to spend time together as well as on the weekend. W/we have both been incredibly busy this last week and only really had time to snuggle a bit and play for about an hour before going to bed in the evenings. But I made up for that on the weekend. On Saturday W/we were downtown and went toy shopping again. I got a cock ring and a butt plug for spirit as I want him to be erect longer and to also continue his anal training. I bought a strap-on over a month ago but I want to make sure that he can take it properly before I try it on him. But either way, I know he is enjoying his training sessions just as much as I am. I find it incredibly erotic how I can play with and use his body & how he allows this to happen with love and trust in Me. His submission to Me is such a gift as well as how he loves and worships Me.

I started our scene on Sunday by having him wait for me in his punishment position on O/our bed, but no punishment would be dealt out this day. I started with some fondling, then erotic spanking that worked up to some light kisses from the crop and My little flogger. I’m amazed and pleased that he has worked up a tolerance for the crop and flogger and finds them both highly arousing when used upon his flesh. When he was rock hard I had him flip over and lay down on his back as I put his new cock ring on. I realized after the fact that I should have probably put it on before the scene started but it still went on ok. It worked well in maintaining his erection and I rode him until he was spent. I didn’t orgasm but I do enjoy feeling his member deep inside Me. Next I had him take care of My needs orally which he does with trained skill. I usually enjoy playing with his ass or balls while he is doing this but I decided that I wanted to train him with the butt plug. I could tell he was already aroused from My fondling so going to this next level wouldn’t be very difficult. So I lubed him up and inserted the plug with little difficulty while he was busy taking care of My needs. I was stroking his shaft while he was licking Me and as I built up to My climax he had another one again that left him weak. A bit later W/we snuggled close and tenderly caressed each other adrift in feelings of contentment. W/we are becoming closer every day as O/our love grows for each other and O/our roles become more defined within O/our relationship.


Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Moving in & moving on

Today is the day that spirit is moving in, a day which W/we have been looking forwards to for a long time. W/we had been talking about this move for a while but due to his family situation where he was staying at it wasn’t an option. But now his family is aware of O/our wonderful relationship, in a vanilla way of course, and they are accepting of it. W/we are well on O/our way of attaining O/our goals and a beautiful life together.

W/we spent most of last weekend together and W/we had such a great time. A group of U/us went out to a Latin dance club to celebrate a friend’s birthday. It was so much fun and spirit is such a good dancer. A friend of Mine that was there who hadn’t seen Me in about 7 months or so said to Me that I looked so good, looked really relaxed & happy, and ‘are you in love?’ Gosh, I didn’t know that it was so apparent to everyone but I guess that is exactly what W/we are in. In love and in a 24/7 D/s relationship too. I think one of the things that make a D/s relationship work is not only the compatibility in sexual desires or power exchanges but also in regular vanilla activities, such as going out dancing or to a movie. Any relationship is always about give and take, however, with a D/s relationship there isn’t much of a power struggle (if any) as in a vanilla relationship because those boundaries are firmly in place from the start. But just because I am the Mistress does that give Me absolute power over My sub/partner? No, not at all because it’s not just about Me. Does it mean that My sub is topping from the bottom when I fulfill his desires? No again, because W/we are in a consensual D/s relationship…W/we both are getting something out of O/our chosen lifestyle. In the end, yes, I will make the decisions about whatever needs to be decided but I will not make the decision until I have discussed things over with My sub/partner and make sure it’s good choice for both of U/us. It’s also about balance and if the relationship becomes one sided it’s almost a guarantee that the union will not last. I notice this in many vanilla relationships with the games that are played, how they manipulate each other to try to find a way to get their needs fulfilled without proper communication. When this pattern starts to occur, the relationship disintegrates fairly rapidly to the demise of both parties. It’s a sad state of affairs when that happens and it happens far too often. With a D/s relationship, communication is even more important since limits are being tested and pushed on a regular basis. And I can say is that more D/s couples have deeper, committed relationships because of this level of trust that has been established. Communication is the glue that holds any relationship together as well as having a similar outlook on life.

O/our relationship was special from the start and W/we both recognized that it was something W/we didn’t want to let go of. It was one of the reasons I collared spirit early on in the relationship...no getting away sweetness. As a result, W/we have talked about getting married in the last few months. Now W/we decided that it's time that this should become reality. W/we set a date for February 27th only 4 weeks from now. It will be just a small ceremony at O/our place with a couple of close friends. After the ceremony W/we all will all go to a nice restaurant close to O/our place and celebrate the start of O/our new life together. The old saying is true…when you know you’ve found the right person, you know. W/we are both incredibly happy right now and I’m sure that it will only get better. I love you spirit xxxoo.

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