Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Going forward...

This has been a very emotional week for Me and for U/us as a couple. I had found out a few things about spirit that I felt were inappropriate within O/our relationship that had to be clarified most urgently. First was his behaviour towards Me when things were not going in his favor, his somewhat disrespectful attitude to Me at times and the anger that followed. I had mentioned in here before that spirit had been late to see Me on scheduled visit days before and how I thought that I addressed that issue. Well it blew up again last Sunday. spirit was supposed to be at My place at 10:00 am and he didn’t arrive until almost 2:00 pm. I was quite upset and it tainted O/our visit that day. Second was that the next day I received an email from him disclosing all the other ID’s that he had on Yahoo with some of them still being active. I DID know that he role played on line and I had no problem with that. But I obviously didn’t understand the nature of the role play because if I had I would have never been comfortable with it. Some of the role play he engaged in was with Gor. Not understanding fully what Gor was, I didn’t know that part of the play was serving other online Mistresses if you were a sub. Needless to say I flipped out. I couldn’t understand how he would find it acceptable to serve these other Mistresses regardless if it was online or not when he now is collared to a ‘real time – full time’ Mistress. I found it exceedingly disrespectful and it seemed like O/our relationship didn’t mean much to him. I have to admit though that I am a ‘hot head’ at times and I have jumped to incorrect conclusions before. So I decided to calm down, breathe and give him a chance to explain himself in person before I made any major decisions that could affect O/our future together. he explained to Me that he didn’t feel that anything role played online was real to him so he didn’t think it was an issue. But I was having an issue when tasks were being assigned to him that he was completing for these Mistresses offline. I wondered if these tasks were cutting into O/our relationship and time spent with each other. Didn’t these Mistresses know he was collared real time and if not, why he didn’t tell them. he stated that he had told them about his real Mistress and had stopped doing any tasks requested by them a few weeks into O/our relationship. he reassured Me that there are no other Mistresses, that I am his One and Only Mistress, that he loves Me with all his heart and that if he had realized how strongly I was opposed to his actions he would of told Me of this information much sooner. He apologized profusely for being late and not disclosing the role play info and I, being a kind heart and so very much in love with him, could only forgive him. But not without having some firm rules set. They are:

I expect that you serve Me only.
I expect punctuality when you are to see Me.
I expect you to do tasks right way when requested, no whining.
I expect you to learn the positions that I teach you and perfect them
for Me and not have to keep reminding you of them.
I expect you to refrain from masturbation while away from Me
and if you can not, to disclose it to Me immediately when W/we talk again.
I expect you to take responsibility for your actions, not always at the
end of My crop.
I expect you to treat Me with respect at all times, even if angry, as I treat you the same.

I am positive that this is a firm base to work from to go forwards in O/our relationship.

W/we went out for dinner to discuss all aspects of O/our feelings for each other and the relationship. And even though at times W/we were both fustrated with each other, in the end W/we came to the agreement that, yes, W/we love each other, O/our bond is strong and deep and it is in O/our best interests to work on O/our relationship by always keeping the lines of communication open. W/we made it back to My place not too frozen but still wanted to warmed up in bed. W/we both actually napped for a while, warm from O/our bodies being close together but also warm from the knowledge that W/we truly have found something special with each O/other.

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